Tradwife videos rack up millions of views: fresh bread, homeschooled kids, a husband who pays the bills. Fans call it freedom from the 9-to-5 grind and a choice feminism fought for. Critics say it glamorizes financial dependence and sells a lifestyle most families can't afford on one income. Is staying home the dream, or a step backwards for women?
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Add your commentLiving the dream until the divorce papers show up and you've got a 12 year gap on your resume and zero in your 401k. Ask me how I know.
Daycare for two kids in my area is $2,600 a month. My take-home was $3,100. I didn't 'choose tradition,' I did math.
The tradwife videos are not about staying home. They're about selling a fantasy. The lady kneading sourdough in a linen dress has a brand deal and a nanny off camera.
The real step backwards is a country with no paid family leave and $20k/year daycare, then acting shocked that women are choosing to stay home.
It's not a step backwards if both people agree to it and the money is shared. It's a step backwards when she has to ask permission to buy shampoo.
Retired now. Stayed home 22 years. Raised 4 good adults, cared for my mother-in-law at the end, volunteered at the school forever. Would do it again. But I'd tell my younger self to keep one foot in the workforce.
As a divorce attorney in Ohio: the stay-at-home spouse almost always comes out worse financially, even with alimony. Love is great. Paperwork is better.
I grew up with a SAHM who was miserable and didn't have the money to leave. That's the part nobody puts in the aesthetic videos.
I think a lot of the tradwife appeal is burnout. Women were promised 'have it all' and got 'do it all.' Of course some of them want out.
I stayed home with my three for eleven years. Best decision we ever made, and also the hardest job I've ever had. Nobody films the 3am fevers.
The 'tradwife' thing is like 90% performance. Real stay at home moms are in yoga pants scraping oatmeal off the ceiling, not churning butter in a prairie dress.
If both partners respect each other, it works. If they don't, nothing works. Stay home, go to work, whatever. Pick a good partner first.
I'm a working mom and I'm tired of the SAHM vs working mom war. We're all exhausted. Can we just stop judging each other for five minutes?
What bugs me is the politics they bundle in. Staying home is fine. 'Women shouldn't vote' or 'women belong in the kitchen' is where I check out.
Stay at home dad here. Nobody calls me a tradhusband or makes videos about it. Weird how the debate only ever lands on women.
Not mocking you, but please finish your degree or get a certification first. Life happens. Spouses get sick, lose jobs, leave. A backup plan isn't anti-marriage.
Single income households are basically a luxury good now. That's the real story. It's not about values, it's about who can afford it.
I'm a nurse, my husband stays home with our toddler. We get side eye from both sides lol. The trads think he's emasculated, the progressives think it's a quirky experiment. It's just what works for us.
If my wife wanted to stay home I'd support it 100%. But I'd also want us to put money in a spousal IRA every year in her name. That's just being fair.
The sad part is the loneliness. I stayed home for 5 years and some weeks I didn't speak to another adult except the cashier. Nobody warns you.
My husband makes good money and I still keep my own savings account and a part time bookkeeping gig from home. Love him to death. Not stupid though.
Hard disagree with the 'step backwards' framing. Feminism was supposed to be about choice. Some of us chose this.
This. Being home is a full time job, not a 24/7 one. Husbands who come home and sit on the couch till bedtime are the problem, not the arrangement.
Everyone in here saying 'it's a choice' — sure. But when millions of young girls watch tradwife content, the message they get isn't 'choose freely,' it's 'this is what a good woman looks like.'
Women in the 1950s didn't have this 'choice' everyone talks about. Most of them didn't even have bank accounts in their own name until the 70s. So spare me the nostalgia.
Genuinely asking: who does the dishes when she's home all day? Because in my house my wife stays home and we still split evenings 50/50. Her shift ends too.
Honestly the most 'feminist' thing in my life was my grandma running a farm household with 6 kids. People act like homemaking is easy or brainless. It's management, logistics, nursing and cooking all at once.
'Not being allowed to' and 'choosing not to' are completely different things. Nobody's forcing anyone.
And when millions of girls watch girlboss content the message is 'your worth is your job title.' Influencers sell everything. That's not a tradwife problem.
lol at people acting like a corporate cubicle is liberation. I traded a boss who didn't care about me for kids who do.
Plenty of kids raised in daycare turned out great. Mine included. This 'we all know it' stuff is just guilt marketing.
Small correction to the person above: women could open bank accounts before the 70s, it was credit cards and loans in their own name that were the problem until 1974. Your point mostly stands though.
Not every SAHM thinks like that though. Lumping all of us in with a few extreme accounts online is lazy.
Then I grew up with a working mom who was miserable and never home. Turns out miserable is about the marriage, not the job.
Kids do better with a parent at home. I don't care if it's mom or dad, but someone. Daycare from 6 weeks old for 10 hours a day isn't ideal and we all know it.
I homeschool four kids and run a small garden business from our property. Some people would call me a tradwife. I'd call myself self-employed with extra coworkers.
Its a privilege not a lifestyle. Most moms I know would kill to stay home but rent in this city is $2400 for a 2 bedroom.
I'm 24, engaged, and I want to stay home when we have kids. My friends treat me like I announced I'm joining a cult. Why is that the only life choice it's okay to mock?
My grandmother stayed home, my mother worked, and I'm staying home. Every generation picks what fits. It's not a culture war, it's a family decision.
my mom stayed home and honestly it was great for us kids. she was always there after school. i dont get why people act like that's oppressive
My mom went back to work when I was 10 and it was the best thing for her. She came alive again. Some women need that and that's okay too.
Funny how 'living the dream' always means living off one guy's paycheck. What happens when he gets laid off? The dream ends real fast.
honestly the step backwards is that we even have to debate a woman's choices this much. nobody writes threads asking if men working is a step backwards
Women spent a century fighting for the right to work, and now we're romanticizing not being allowed to? I don't get it.
Step backwards for women as a group? Maybe. Step forward for a lot of individual families? Also maybe. Both things can be true.
Same thing that happens when a two income family loses a job. You adjust. At least we have one adult free to pick up work if needed.
Find a moms group, a church group, a library storytime, anything. Took me two years to figure that out. It changed everything.
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